Tuesday, February 8, 2011

If We Stand The Test of Time

It is not difficult to look for a friend. On the other hand, standing by a friend forever is a different challenge. Say a friend offended you or did you wrong, would you still forgive her? Say a friend got entangled in a complicated situation, would you still fight beside her even though you know your friend is wrong?

Now, the question is, how do we measure the meaning of friendship? Is it about being there for your friends when they need you the most? Is it accepting them despite of their weaknesses? Is it measured by social identity such as one’s popularity in a crowd?  Or is it measured by having common interests and sharing the same humor for crazy stories?

What if one day you wake up and feel like the world is not with you, and refuse to depend on your friends for fear that they might get involved in your problem? What if you suddenly feel afraid of being judged by your friends? Have you ever thought that the set of people you consider your friends are there to mold the curves into straight lines? This is best reflected in this well-meaning line that Blair Waldorf once said, “We’re the non-judging breakfast club.” Friends are there to help clean up the mess you got into, not sink you into a bigger one. It’s not a good idea to tolerate your friend for the damage he or she has done.

Instead, friends should give unbiased advice. I’m sure you would appreciate the same treatment from your friends if you were on the receiving end. As a friend, you should always say what you mean to say, and remember that you are doing it for your friend’s sake. Hurting his or her feelings is a bad thing, and most people want to limit this as much as possible. However, telling lies to keep yourself from hurting your friend is much worse. 

This, for me, is the true test of friendship. In fact, real friendships are not necessarily measured by how long you've known each other, but how you and your friends help and treat each other in times of distress. Knowing that they have your back, and you lookout for them as well will make you feel GRATEFUL and realize how VALUABLE your friends are.

Written by: Jam Daquio
Edited by: Katrina Pulvera 
Photos: Jam Daquio

20 comments:

  1. So agree with this post! Friends who stay with you during bad times are those whom you can consider as real friends! :)

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  2. Friends are your siblings from different mothers and fathers. There is a reason why you choose to be together. It's really good to find those people who share the same sentiments as you in life.

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  3. true friends are hard to find, people change especially when money is involved

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  4. Friends should really be unbiased. They may not please us always but they should always be real.

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  5. I think each of us measure true friendship differently. For me, being far away from the people I've called "friends" for many years is a big factor and I've known people who\m I can call true friends despite no constant communication. I guess being able to be here for them or be there for me in times of need or just for nothing is important in knowing what true friendship is.

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  6. lies, not only in a friendship, destroys many things. I think it's seldom that one can find a friend who will be there for a lifetime...blessed are those who did.

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  7. I have many acquaintances and friendly associates but very few friends who I can trust my life with. They are real treasures here on earth.

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  8. "With tough times comes the best friends." And I mean the real best friends - by attitude, not by label. They may be rare and hard to find, but they are the best thing you can ever had.

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    1. true :) best friend and I were busy that we barely see each other whenever there are gatherings.. but we assure that when one get through tough times, we lookout for each other.

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  9. when a friend is wrong, you try to open her eyes to what is right. maaari kang maging kontrabida pero yun ang tamang gawin bilang kaibigan. Yahweh bless.

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  10. Real friends are unique and hard to find :-) Real friends always stand by your side no matter what. Real friends will never defy or stab you behind your back. I am glad that you found some real friends and wish you a long and real friendship :-)

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  11. Now I miss my hs and college friends. They are now busy with their own lives just like me but we still manage to see each other. My HS friends, we gather a mini reunion every year. And yes, me as a friend, I don't tolerate them if anyone did something wrong and must be corrected. I always give my honest opinion. It may hurt sometimes "Truth hurts", but it is the best way to show how much you care for your friend :) And indeed, it's not only measure through time, it's how they are there through thick and thin :)

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    1. yes sis. growing up really means to have less time with our loved ones.

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  12. i really admire your friendship! keep it up!

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  13. You are so lucky you got this circle of friends. Surely a true friend is who stays with you in times of health, wealth and those who pay respect in your last days on earth.

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  14. What are friends for as what the popular song indicated could be possibly happening. But friend's relationship is very subjective. It is how you treat them that could reflect on how you could be treated as well. And for me, there is no permanent friend.

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  15. I have few friends who I cling too. I call them my nonsense-no nonsense group. If it's time for serious talks, I know I could count on them. You should treat your friend like how you wanted to be treated. I'm glad you have these circle of friends that you could count on. :)

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  16. Your post reminds me to treasure the few friends I have who keep telling me the truth even if it hurts and who give me the advice that only loving friends will do. I see you have a good circle of friends, too! Treasure them because they are your life's blessings. -- Maria Teresa Figuerres

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